Iron Man

Last week, my Facebook memory feed for May 4, 2008, reminded me that I had kicked off the month that year in typical fashion: watching a blockbuster movie. A Marvel movie. Iron Man, to be exact.

Perhaps many of you did this very thing last weekend with the latest installment of Captain America. We probably take for granted that May is the month of commencement.....for the summer movie season.  For the past several years, May belongs to Marvel...Iron Man, The Avengers, Captain America, and the incarnations of all of these.

As for me, I'm always tied to Iron Man.

I never read comics, but Topher did.  When Robert Downey, Jr., was first cast to play Iron Man, Topher sighed in satisfaction: He will be perfect as Tony Stark.  A reformed playboy alcoholic who saves the world? Downey was the man, Topher affirmed.  I knew nothing about any of it -- why was downtrodden Downey even back in the spotlight? (Topher rolled his eyes at my ignorance) -- but I knew how excited my husband was to see this movie. And we went to see it that weekend. We loved it. How could we not?  Downey's sarcasm, his genius, his wise cracks, his power..... and the comic movie was back, in a big way. Topher was ecstatic to see this happen. Comic books were the new books-turned-movies in 2008.

Despite the action and fighting scenes, Iron Man wasn't without emotion. In one key scene, Tony Stark's assistant and love interest, Pepper Potts, learns the intricacies of Stark's new "heart," an implant made of mineral and metal (um, I think?).  He asks her to help him with an important transplant process, and she nervously acquiesces, helping to stabilize her boss's glowing heart.

How could we know that this would be the last movie Topher and I would see together?

One week later, my husband's own heart broke, but I couldn't fix it. In a flash of cardiac arrest, Topher was gone, collapsing on our kitchen floor after dinner. Everything that came after his death was a hell akin to Iron Man's Chitauri wormhole. But I need not dwell on that today, the 8th anniversary of Topher's death.

What I do want to dwell on is the laugh and delightful nature of a man who loved comics, adventure, video games, and dry wit.  A man who got excited for the latest movie, who would have loved every Marvel movie from the past eight years.  A man who knew good characters when he saw them.  I think of him every time May rolls around.... not only for the anniversary of his death but also for the movies he would be lining up to see. These simple things are where our true memories live, keeping loved ones alive,

For those of you who knew him, think of him when you watch a Marvel movie, would you? I know I do.

Cross my heart.

Book...ish

I love and hate books.

Ok, wait. Let's reconsider. I hate that I love books.

No, I might just hate them....

Even after a good old-fashioned spring cleanse, there are always too many books in the house. They take up space, they are heavy, and you can only read one at a time, so the rest just sit there, looking at you, shaming you for not reading them instead.

We have all our books in totes in the basement right now because (get this) I don't like bookshelves. They look cluttered, no matter how nicely the books are arranged.  They just end up looking like a pile of.... stuff... on one side of the room.  And why do I need all of them right there??  I just want them.... somewhere else.

So we set aside a bunch of books and had a book swap happy hour. Great idea, right? Others bring their books, we have our books, and.... we all swap, resulting in everyone having books they want. Well, no. Guests brought books but they didn't 'swap' -- so now we have two more totes full of books than we had before.

Couple this problem with the fact that I'm quitting my job as an English professor, and I have many books to lose.

So consider this a cry for help. Take my books....please??!?!