Why I Left Academia (Getting Honest, pt. 1)

Because I no longer wanted to do research in my area.
Because I always felt like an imposter, even when things were going well.
Because I could no longer ascribe to the policies of my workplace in good conscience.
Because I didn't desire to find another job in academia.
Because other job listings didn't motivate me to improve or move.
Because I just wanted out.
Because my teaching methods and content were outdated.
Because I had no energy to overhaul them.
Because my workplace was problematic in ways I couldn't change.
Because I lost energy.
Because I'm not a 'good enough' Christian.
Because I'm not even a practicing Christian right now.
Because I couldn't talk about my job without getting stressed out or upset.
Because I grew bitterhearted and hopeless.
Because my friends and family worried about me.

Because we had a business plan we'd been working on since 2010.
Because I wanted new challenges.
Because I wanted to reconnect to myself.
Because the thoughts of Urban Roost inspired me like nothing else.
Because I could.

Not because I didn't love teaching or my students.
Not because I didn't love literature.
Not because I regretted my Ph.D.
Not because I think such work is unnecessary or unimportant.
Not because I didn't love my colleagues.

Just because.